Saturday, February 4, 2012

The Land of Enchantment.


Yes.  You can get that on record.  I have just called New Mexico home.  

Oh goodness.  What has happened to me?  

This time two years ago, I would have kicked myself for saying that.  Chances are I would've done so even one year ago.  I hated it when I lived there.  I was tired of the browns of the desert, the long dry summers, the  cold snowy winters, the run down neighborhoods.  I was tired of the big blue sky, the spicy green chilie peppers, even the turquoise.  

I moved to Perfectville, California.  It's nice.  I can walk to the beach.  The land is green.  No one here looks like they'd want to steal my purse as soon as I leave it.  People here all seem to lead perfect lives to go along with their perfect town.  Perfect grades, perfect clothes, perfect houses, perfect bodies, perfect everything.  I should be thankful that I live here.  It's such a nice place.  People are nice.  The weather is nice. Everyone who lives here seems to be in love with it.  I feel bad for hating it, thinking that I'm just going to want to come back when I leave.  But yet I don't feel like I belong here.  I feel like an outcast.  The imperfect figure in the town of perfect-ness.  

It's easy to get sick of perfect.  

Now, I miss those hot, dry summers. I think the brown mountains and blue skies are beautiful.  I can appreciate the snowy winters and even the run down neighborhoods now because there aren't any here.  And I definitely miss having turquoise-wearing waiters and waitresses asking me "red or green?" after ordering food.  

I have such great memories there.  When I got to New Mexico, I was just an innocent little 13 year old girl.  I was just sure that one day I would be a writer.  I had dreams of going to high school and living my life just like a Taylor Swift music video.  I thought I knew exactly who I was... and well, everything else.  But I spent a year in solitude... though I didn't like it at the time, it gave me a better sense of not being afraid to be myself.  I started high school and met some wonderful people.  Suddenly I found myself not hating New Mexico so much.  Those people and events gave me an even better idea of who I was and made me grow up... I remember leaving our little adobe house and thinking "Wow.  I'm a different person than I was when I first entered that house."  It felt good.  I felt more... real.  

Today I heard that the morning radio show I listened to everyday when I lived there was cancelled.  I just about cried.  To me, it was just symbolic of how good those days were, and how that they're really over now.  

I still feel like an outsider here in California.  I'll be sitting in chemistry and think "Do I really go to school here?  What am I even doing here?  I don't belong here..."  

I live in Perfectville, where I would have killed to live just two years ago.  It's black and white, nothing ever goes wrong.  
But life needs some color.  And of the seven totally different places I've lived, New Mexico is the most colorful.  
You've got to see the black and white before you can appreciate the color.  

Oh, what'd I'd give to go back.

Even if you just want to leave while you're there, you'll always be drawn back in.

And that's why they call it the Land of Enchantment.  

Tuesday, January 24, 2012


I was tagged by the lovely : Maddy Beth. Her blog is gorgeous so please go take a look at it!

the rules:

1) post these rules
2) you must post 11 random things about yourself
3) answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post
4) create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer
5) go to their blog and tell them they've been tagged
6) no stuff in the tagging section about you are tagged if you are reading this/follow me' blah blah blah, you have to legitimately tag people
the questions
1) What is your favorite food&drink? Salted Caramel Mochas or English tea. My ultimate favorite food is probably french fries. Any time, anywhere, always.
 2) Favorite Color(s)? I love love love the color turquoise. I've been obsessed for a long time
3)QUICK! First word that pops into your head? Typewriter! I don't why, but I've always wanted a vintage one.


4)Favorite TV show? There are so many! if i narrowed it down to one it would be Once Upon a Time. Its highly addictive.

5) What can you not live without? My family
6)Most important thing you carry around with you is ____? My iPhone and my chapstick
7) Video Games or Apps? Apps.
8) Stuffed Animal or Blankie? My Pooh Bear baby blankie! 

9) Favorite Book/Author? Right now, my favorite book is The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. can't wait for the movie! TEAM PEETA!
10) What's the best time you've ever had with a friend? Addie and I have had countless best times, but one of my favorites is the time we stayed up until 5 am just enjoying each other's company when I was 9 and she was 11. 
11) Nicest thing someone has done for you recently? A mean girl made a snide comment about what I was wearing behind my back. One of my good friends took up for me :)

11 things
 1. I love Taylor Swift and her music.
2. I play piano and have for a couple of years.
3. I love to write. Its a passion Addie and I share. 
4. I have many nicknames.
5.  I love spring and summer.
6. I have terrible, horrible eyesight so I wear contacts religiously. 
7) I wrote a song called "My Confession" and preformed it for my school 
8) I love high heels
9) Photography is one of my obsessions
10) Addie and I have been best friends for five years
11) I made a wish on 11/11/11 at 11:11. 
 your questions
1) What is your favorite song?
2) Who is your favorite artist?
3) Name a hobby or passion you have?
4) Favorite quote?
5) Are you athletic, artistic, or both?
6) One of your favorite movies?
7) Do you have a lucky number? What is it?
8) What is your favorite season?
9) Do you have curly hair, straight, or in the middle?
10) Dogs or cats?
11) If you had one wish, what would it be?

Hope you all are having a lovely week :)

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Stories of Forever

Throughout life, we learn new things everyday. In the beginning, we are naive novices, unsuspecting of everything and everyone. Then we get hurt, burned, scarred and we put up a guard, a wall. We protect ourselves. We become afraid, fearful of the new. We forget that we have one chance to live. We don't take those oppurtunities, we push away change, and sometimes we are too afraid of life to actually live. Its the challenge we face everyday.
But in the end, we will all be stories floating about in the wind and living forever. 
 So what do you wish yours to be be?

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Soundtrack of 2011

I did a soundtrack of 2010 last year, and I had so much fun with it I decided to do it again!  Basically, I just make a list of songs that meant a lot to me in 2011 or describe what happened.   I always make it 17 songs because that's my favorite number.  (Kinda like Taylor Swift and the number 13!)  The only other thing I do is title it with the song that completely described my year.  Anyway, HERE IT IS! 

Title: Fifteen
Artist: Various Artists
Year: 2011
1. Somewhere With You by Kenny Chesney
This is on the list mostly because it is now one of my all time favorite songs, but also because I sort of felt this way in some parts of the year.
2. Hallelujah by Many!
This song helped me get through some really tough times.  I've laughed to it, cried to it, sang it with close friends, and even sang it by myself to my mother!  (that almost never happens because I'm so shy about my music).  It just means a lot to me.  Leonard Cohen originally wrote it, but many artists have done covers.  This is my favorite one: (the song starts at about 30 seconds)

3. The Only Exception by Paramore
So I have this friend... Allison is her name... and this song is like our inside joke.  Allison was a big part of my life this year, and this song just has a lot of memories.
4. Friday by Rebecca Black
Come on, you knew this would be on my soundtrack of 2011 ;) It's probably on everyone's!  When I first heard it, I laughed.  It was so ridiculous!  Seriously, "Sitting in the front seat, kickin' in the backseat, gotta make my mind up, which seat can I take"?!  I didn't believe it was real.  Eventually, I listened to it enough that I started loving it.  I even wrote a parody!  Later in the year I watched the video and I cried.  Yes, cried.  I bet I'm the only person to do that.   It brought back good memories!  And you probably think I'm insane now... Yeah sometimes I think I'm a little too emotional :P
5. Stay by Sugarland:
This song describes my biggest mistake of 2011.  I'm just going to say this right now: Girls, don't EVER fall for guy that has a girlfriend/fiance/wife/etc., even if he tells you he loves you and wishes he could be with you.  Never.  No exceptions.  But still, this is a beautiful song.
6. Laughed Until We Cried by  Jason Aldean
I think everyone can relate to this song.  I fell in love with it this year when school was just about to end.  I'd had an amazing year, and I really didn't want to see it end because I knew I would be attending some school in  California instead of that little one in New Mexico.  So I did everything I could to make memories that would last forever :)

7. You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift:
Well... this is the second year in  row that this has made my list.  It means so. much. to me.  Ever since I first heard it in the seventh grade, I was in love with it.  It's probably still to this day the most played song on my iPod.  I know every note, beat and lyric to it.  I've related to every word in it, and it was even and "our song" this year.  It's always and forever my favorite song.
8. Rocket Man by Elton John:
I really don't know what this song is about, but it was playing during a moment... That moment happened this year, and it was one of the highlights.  Listening to it takes me back to that moment.  
9. The House That Built Me by Miranda Lambert
Watching my parents hand over the keys to that little adobe house to some stranger was pretty hard.  I've had 10 houses in my lifetime, but out of all of them, that one "built" me more than any of them.  It was an emotional time.  This song describes how I felt.
10. Cowboy Casanova by Carrie Underwood
This song made me realize something... And that something changed me.  It also helped me help a few of my friends get over a guy.  (The same guy both times :/... stupid boy!)
11. Honey Bee by Blake Shelton
I absolutely love this song, and now whenever I hear it I think of the Summer of 2011 because that's when it came out.
12. Church Pew or Barstool by Jason Aldean
I know, the title sounds weird... But listen to the song.  It's about not really knowing where you fit in.  I've had that problem most of my life, even in my own family.  "When you don't seem to run on either side of the fence, people act like you don't make sense".  I fell in love with this song the second I heard it.

13. Stronger by Sara Evans
If you've heard the song, you probably know why it's on my soundtrack... Bad things happened this year, but they all made me Stronger :)
14. Rain is a Good Thing by Luke Bryan
When you live in the desert like I do (California and New Mexico are both desert areas) you really miss the rain.  The main reason this is on the playlist is that one of my favorite memories of 2011 was walking in the cornfields back home in Ohio singing this song while I got soaked by the rain.  Oh, and that it reminds me of Ohio, the place I love more than anywhere else in the universe.
15. Paint This Town by Arabella Jones:
Most of you who read this are probably like, "By WHO?"  Arabella Jones is an amazingly talented country singer, but she's just getting started.  I found her on YouTube earlier this year and just loved her music.  I'm now a street team leader for her!  Go check her out!  Anyway, the REAL reason that I put this song on the playlist is that it is the story of my life, especially now that I'm here in California.  Give it a listen, you won't regret it! :)

16. This is Country Music by Brad Paisley:
This song... is my life.  It makes me proud to love country music.  I've loved it ever since I was a little girl, and I ALWAYS will <3 It's who I am, it's my life.  God Bless Country Music!

17. Fifteen by Taylor Swift
This is the title of the soundtrack of the year.  I was 15 for all but about two months of 2011.  It describes what happened that year perfectly, and it's how I would say it all looking back.  Because of things that happened this year, I know exactly who I am.  Sure, I still don't know who I'm goinig to be, but that'll come.  Maybe not in 2012, 2013, or even 2014.  But it will.

New Year's Eve/Blogoversary!

It's December 31st, 2011.

You could also call it the last day of 2011.

You could also call it our Blogoversary!  We may not have a year's worth of posts, but hey at least we made it a year without deleting it, right?! :)

I remember a post I wrote last year ended with the sentence: "2010 wasn't the best year for me... but here's to a better 2011!"  That came true.  I'm always one to say that the best year of my life is the one happening right now.  2011 definitely lived up to that statement!  So many wonderful memories were made, and it seemed every time a bad thing happened, something great came out of it.

I'm so thankful for everything that happened this year, and to my friends, family, and God for making it amazing.

So of course, HERE'S TO A BETTER 2012!!!

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

a summer night, a perfect kiss, a hopeless love...

Hello lovelies and Merry Christmas two days late. i hope you all are on winter vacation and are enjoying yourselves because you deserve it. I'm afraid this vacation has been full of ups and downs for me. Dealing with things of months past and realizing my childhood is slowly falling away. The best years of my life were spent in Florida with Addie and I am so grateful. People would probably say i feel to much, i care too much, i hold on way too long, and I can't bring myself to let go of the dearest things in my heart. I know people my age think that I am weird and  odd for being who I am. I just would rather keep to myself than be with those awful mean people who think they are so wonderful. If I ever wanted to be the slightest popular, I would have to change myself and I am not willing. Never would I alter who I am becoming to be well liked by people whose opinions don't matter.
I was up extremely late last night scribbling away. I couldn't help myself because the words just wouldn't cease to flow from my fingertips.  Here is a story for you to read, a story of us, a small story of me.

Hearts and Confessions   

She looked at him and in that moment, she was filled with wonder and a need for escape into a new world. It was a slow ache that began when her hand touched his fingers intertwined, promising a kiss, this only the prelude. It was summer and possibility was in the air. Warm, brown eyes and a pretty smile, she closed her eyes as she memorized this elapse of time for she would hold it in her hands forever. A pink tie and a gray suit. A sleeveless, blue as sky dress.
"Remember. Always remember this night." She thought, eyes still shut.

 She opened them and saw black sky and stars that twinkled as if urging her never to forget. The moon, full and milky white, put the spotlight directly on her as the boy looked back, doubt in his eyes.
"Don't let us go." He told her gently through the clear glass of the doors separating them. He could feel her kiss on his lips.
His expression forlorn, she could feel their love, their night, their forever slipping from her grasp like quicksilver. She closed her eyes and could feel his touch once more. Recapture the butterflies and the free nature of their starry night. For she wouldn't, couldn't believe what they had told her of him. "No," she thought, "Those perfect curls and that charming smile. Not him. No, not him." Denial set in like fear does as it crawls under your skin, staying uninvited and much too long. She, stupid girl, pushed away all realistic thought, settling for fantasies and kisses and intense gazes across the room. "No, no, not him. " she thought. Because he was hers at least for one night and that, my dear was... is all.  
She felt her wings grow as he kissed her hair. She was flying, soaring above where no one could reach her. The falseness of infatuation gripped her, unforgiving when it picked her up and as it threw her down. Regret is an ugly creature that lives at the back of the mind to gnaw and eat at one's sanity. She felt lost as infatuation and manipulation handed her to regret and his brother sorrow. A sad tale that hurt more than the initial ache she felt for him as their eyes caught at the beginning of the night. 
Stupid, idiot girl. She handed him the silver keys to her heart when he asked simply. Thought not upon his request, she gave him her vulnerability as well trusting, too trusting. Good intentions, maybe so, but two young people are hardly equipped to handle emotions such as these reasonably, sensibly at first.  So she gave him a perfect kiss and for this he attempted to sequester her heart and claim it his. 
"Ooh," She moaned the next day. Cloudy, not a bit of sunshine as encouragement to aid her through. He lit up her touch screen with messages pulling at her heartstrings. Hot tears descended down her face as she told him her goodbyes. He pleaded, he begged her to listen, not to set their love free to move on like a cloud just passing through. It was too much to bear.
But she took a vow that she never forget the free, fearless nature with which she accidently caught his notice. 
For it was the first time she lived that night. As he held her hand in his, she could feel the longing in his touch of never letting go. The passion they shared was undeniable. She sat alone on a bumpy bus ride and reminisced in a summer dress as the wind whipped across her face. Her still broken heart in jagged fragments, she smiled in spite.  She'd let him go, he'd gotten away, he was back to doing the same damn thing again. She was just another bright feather is his hat, a meaningless girl that gave up her heart too freely.
It wore her strength down as cousins guilt and regret urged her to meet their good friend depression. She tried to fight.Yet as the months fly away into the endless sky, she still remembers fondly of the love that lasted one day as it took her breath away.

She whispers to the wind, "Forever and always."

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Be Forever Young

This post was written Wednesday, December 14. I just haven't had a chance to post it. Sorry its late!

Hellooo guys! Soo Abby tagged Addie and me! Which is down below.
How has your Wednesday been going? I used to detest Wednesdays when I was homeschooled though I'm not sure why. But today was a great Wednesday! Its my birthday and I got to spend it at school with friends for the first time!
Addie texted me at 1 in the morning which was AWESOME! Haha, one thing that has stayed true throughout our friendship is the fact that Addie and me are night owls! We used to have sleepovers where we stayed up until 5 in the morning! 

I love tags..
1~ Do you like to read?
I love to read! I begged my parents to teach me how when i was 2! Once I learned how, I wasn't been able to stop.
2~Who are you favorite authors?
I have many, here's 5! Stephenie Meyer, J.K. Rowling, Suzanne Collins, Sarah Dessen, Maggie Stiefvater.

3~What phone do you have/do you like it?
I have an iPhone 3GS and I LOVE it! I really want an iPhone 4, but I'm so happy with the phone I have.
4~Favorite store? 
That's tough, I think one of my favorite stores is Delia's because their clothes are so cute!
5~Nickelodeon or Disney Channel?
I dislike both these days :( I used to love Disney Channel, but now the shows are horrible. Hannah Montana was my all time favorite when i was younger and I still love watching reruns, but Disney Channel just isn't the same anymore. As for Nickelodeon, I still love watching their award shows, but the TV shows are terrible as well.
6~Pinkberry or Yoomoo?
What? Who? 
7~Harry Potter or Twilight?
Harry Potter hands down, but Twilight will always be 2nd place. And of course, The Hunger Games will always win 3rd.
8~Cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies! My parents have contests to see whose cookies are better especially around the holidays!
9~ Do you have any allergies?
Bleh! Summer, Fall, Winter, Spring all year round do I have allergies uugh
10~ Do you believe in ghosts?
11~ What are you wearing right now?
I'm wearing birthday clothes! Jeans, a hot pink t-shirt, and comfy slippers!
12~ What was the last song you heard?
A Christmas album called A Very She and Him Christmas. My parents LOVE Christmas music haha. This will sound really bad, but Christmas music annoys me so much! Though I do love the spirit of the holidays :)
13~ If you were an animal what would you be?
A hedgehog. Always♥
14~ Have you ever been hang gliding/paragliding?
Nope, but it sounds amazingly fun!
15~ Favorite board game?
Monopoly or the game of Life.
16~ Favorite video game?
I have to agree with Abby, Guitar Hero.
17~ Have you ever been on a plane?
Yep, i love when they take off! It makes me giggly and hyper :D
18~Do you like sports?
Not many, I have almost no athletic bone in my body! The only exception I have is Field Hockey because i LOVE it!
19~If you had £1000,000 what would you spend it on?
Friends, Family, College, everything!
20~Favorite flower?
I love pretty much all flowers. They make me sneeze, but I think they're gorgeous.
21~Favorite fruit?
22~Can you ride a bike?
Since I was 5! Learning to ride a bike is part of the reason why after every fall, I can always get back up.
23~Do you believe in aliens?
Apparently it can be mathematically proved but otherwise, I don't care as long as they don't bother me!
24~Favorite kind of cake?
Italian Cream Cake which my mom makes every year for my birthday.
25~Have you ever been bungee jumping?
Nope and I don't plan on it. 
26~Have you ever completed a Where’s Wally book?
What's a Where's Wally book?
 27~Disneyland or Universal Studios?
Disneyland because of the magic.
28~Pirates or ninjas?
Ninjas are way cooler! They've got skills pirates just don't have.
29~ Sweet or salty popcorn?
Sweet and Salty is the best kind of popcorn. If I had to pick though, salty.
30~If you could visit any fictional place where would it be?
I've gotta agree with Abby: Hogwarts

I tag:

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Happy Birthday to... Gabrielle!!!! :)

I'd ask you to guess who's birthday it is today, but I think the title already told you ;)
I've known you for five birthdays now :)  haha.  I hope you're having a great day! Y'all make sure to wish her a happy birthday!  

You know who's birthday it was yesterday?! TAYLOR SWIFT!  
I wish my birthday was that close to Taylor's...

What do you guys think of the new banner?  That is a picture of the town where Gabrielle & I met... niether of us live there anymore, but I know I wish I still did!  I think the picture pretty much explains why... :) And I also think that finishes up the redecorating we've been doing around here!

Sorry this is such a short post... I've got some cupcakes to bake for another birthday tomorrow (this is a crazy birthday week!), lots of homework to do, and a choir concert tonight!  Oh, and did I also mention it's my parent's anniversary today?!  

December 14th is always an important day for us :)

Sunday, December 11, 2011


Hey lovelies! How are you today? Its so great to be back! I hope you all have had or are having a wonderful day.
Lately, I've been doodling on my arms and hands (mostly taylor swift lyrics :P) and my favorite is shine! If I'm having a bad day, I think of shining on and getting through it. I think of the shining stars in my life that keep me going.

Don't forget to sparkle

When you're down, shine on.

Shine, Shine, Shine

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Things Change

Alright y'all,

I'm afraid to say it because its happened so. many. times. And hasn't worked out.  Like everything else in the future, you never know anything beyond what you think now, and it's hard. Experiences have taught me never to say "for sure" or "definitely".  Because you just can't.  Life just doesn't go the way you want it to, and that's a good thing. If my life had gone the way I had gone the way I'd wanted it to when I was 4, I'd still be trying to get my degree in being a cowgirl, and trying to find a real prince to marry.  Everything that happens does for a reason.  Plan all you want, but always remember that things change faster than they can ever be made.  Even writing in stone can be faded away. 

Yes, there is a much deeper reason to this post than this simple this announcement right now, but that's something I'll tell about later.  For now, I'll just say this:

I think were back.

But we'll never be the same. 

Gabrielle and I have decided to keep up with this blog again!  But there are going to be changes... Lots and lots of changes!  These will all be discussed in a later post, mainly because we haven't totally decided what they will be...  But stick around to see, because I'm pretty sure that it's going to be amazing...

Watch out for a post from Gabrielle later :)